HY 11/06: Oh, Those Annoying People! | Lehigh Valley Hospital

Somebody bugging you? Here’s what you can do.

Who makes your blood pressure skyrocket? Maybe it’s the neighbor whose dog barks at all hours. Or your sister, who wants you to host Thanksgiving again this year. “Your mood, personality and past experiences all determine who and what will set you off,” says social worker Tony Buchman of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network.

Fortunately, some aggravating people cross your path for only a moment. Others, like family members, may have annoyed you since childhood and continue to do so—especially around the holidays, when families tend to converge. To help you deal with irritating people and the annoying situations that tag along with them, here are Buchman’s suggestions:

Breathe deeply. Deep breathing helps to trigger relaxation so you can deal with situations more calmly. Breathe in slowly through your nose and out slowly through your mouth.

Count to 10. It will give you a few seconds to gain perspective.

Be appropriately assertive. Avoid yelling or making the situation worse; many people offend easily and just get defensive. Instead, politely say, “I’m not sure you realize your dog is barking. I’m trying to sleep and would appreciate your bringing him in for the night.” You can tell your sister, “I won’t be able to host Thanksgiving this year. If you can’t do it, maybe we could all go to a restaurant instead.”

Offer to help. If it looks like someone’s having trouble, diffuse your own angry feelings by lending a hand. For example, if an older person is tying up the supermarket line fumbling with a heavy item, ask if she’d like some assistance.

Step outside yourself. How would you like others to see you handling this annoying situation? Would you rather they view you as a calm, rational person, or someone who’s impulsive, agitated and aggressive?

Remember the Golden Rule. It’s usually better to treat people politely and courteously—just as you’d like to be treated yourself. Maybe the irritating person has had a bad day or doesn’t realize her actions are affecting you.

Explore your spiritual side. Some types of spirituality—Buddhism, for example—teach you to focus on the moment. This helps you take irritating situations in stride. Stress-reduction techniques such as yoga and meditation also can help.

Want to Know More about dealing with stress? For a helpful booklet, call 610-402-CARE or click on the links in the column on the right of this page.